Andrew Smiler is back. More than five years after his first appearance on The New Masculine — where he and Travis unpacked his book Is Masculinity Toxic? — Andrew returns with a new framework and a new book aimed at the clinicians and coaches doing frontline work with men. In this conversation, Andrew introduces the Multi-Faceted Masculinity Framework, a model that draws together four distinct lenses for understanding how masculinity shapes men's lives: the rules masculinity sets (Masculine Criteria), the identities and archetypes it offers (Masculine Types), the pressure to constantly prove masculine worth (Masculine Achievement), and the daily decisions men make between the masculinity they want and the one they're able to live (Masculine Negotiations). It's a framework built not to replace existing theory, but to give practitioners — and curious men — the full buffet. His new book, Clinical Work With Men: Understanding Masculinity in Psychotherapy, is written for therapists and coaches, but the conversation goes well beyond the clinical. Travis and Andrew talk about why men quit therapy after a single session, how to work with a man's existing strengths rather than asking him to subtract parts of himself, and what it actually takes to build trust with a guy who walked in convinced therapy was just going to be an hour of talking about his feelings. Andrew also shares a personal update: a divorce after a twenty-year relationship, the relief that followed, what co-parenting a teenager has looked like, and how he unexpectedly found his way back to journaling and competitive darts. It's a conversation about masculinity that starts in the personal and ends in the practical.
Andrew Smiler is a therapist, researcher, and author based in North Carolina. His work spans adolescent development, masculine identity, and clinical practice with men. Find him and his books at andrewsmiler.com.
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